I share my story of spirit and resilience as an informational backdrop.

Born of a lineage of classical musicians, and raised by parents who were pastors, faith and music were my first touchpoints with spirit. My parents were beloved and brought music and joy wherever they went, and integrity in everything that they did. 

As a child I endured both a debilitating stutter and asthma, and people I encountered, family included, out of either pity or impatience, would attempt to finish my sentences. I felt like a caged bird.

Spirit arrived when I began running after school, focusing on a deep exhalation, in-in, out-out, a meditation, squeezing every last ounce of air out of my lungs, and hoping to ring out the asthma as well. It did melt away, and running as a practice in my adulthood now includes half-marathons.

My adolescent discovery of a singing ability and teachers who taught me to weave webs of fine golden sound, to move hearts, and to eventually heal my voice of its speech impediment. Spirit had strengthened both my breath and body, and by combining singing and running together, I was unshackled.

Spirit then again met me in my conservatory theater training. On this day, feeling sick, a sore throat and very achy, a classmate placed her hands on my shoulders to massage them with a deeply soothing touch. Being an intuitive healer herself, after 10 minutes my energy was restored. She performed a combination of prayer, energy work, and massage therapy. I felt one of the deepest pulls in my life to understand this powerful medicine, and she introduced me to my new Esalen Institute-trained teachers. From completing a certification as a licensed massage therapist in 2005, every 12-18 months onward I have studied a new modality or specialty from both eastern and western traditions, to develop my collection of somatic trauma release techniques.  

A lover of the healing waters of natural hot springs, here I encountered the magical, fairly new healing modality called aquatic bodywork or Watsu. Distraught to learn that nearly all Watsu teachers were in Europe, I unearthed Diane Feingold in Santa Barbara, California, who created her own expressive aquatic bodywork modality, WRT Water Release Therapy®. Upon graduating from her certification program I encountered Inika Spence-Whaley’s Healing Dance®, another gorgeous aquatic bodywork modality, and became her student, starting my current chapter of advanced studies - to unify water, body, and sound work as a suite of healing arts.  

Educated in and deeply appreciative of Christian theology, it became another cage when I developed my sexual identity. My church was no longer a safe, nor high-vibrational place. Parents and family distanced themselves from me the more I bore my truth bravely. The contrast was stark. Best friends who were a part of the church disappeared, and people who truly loved me materialized. I grieved my losses, and spirit invited me to embrace a chosen family that is ever-loving and present. 

I understand, whether we are conscious of it or not, we constantly manifest our future. By choosing or not choosing we create our own realities.  

In my late 30s, my mother was diagnosed with advanced cancer. Recalling my childhood, around the age of 8 or 9, my parents decided to take on a new form of ministry by opening their home to welcome foster children. There were 14 in total over the course of 10 years. I learned to share my treasures and to not place importance on material things. Our resources were limited but somehow I always had new clothes for the first day of school and presents around the Christmas tree. My family’s impressive flexibility around welcoming new people was a guiding light to forming my own ministry, and a shining part of their faith.

The shock that my mother was dying, and this deep love and potential loss to my family, signaled I needed a deeper wisdom. A sorrow had begun to swallow me. 

I was fortunate to be connected to a mountain temple led by a shaman who remains one of the most incredible musicians I have encountered. In this ceremony everyone has the opportunity to share their heart, and I barely could contain myself from bursting into grief. I had always had difficulty expressing my pain, and it limited my capacity as a musician and theater artist. At this moment in the temple, it was a time of deep vulnerability and the space was held with such reverence. Sitting with sacred medicine and experiencing the power of the divine music shared live broke my heart wide open. I sobbed deeply for hours and transcended time and space. 

Spirit guided me to become a student of the healing tools used in this community. I concluded that if antidepressants help people find a floor for mood, anxiety or grief, sacred earth medicine can help raise the ceiling of awareness and opportunity. To expand the Self, and what it can feel and pursue, and to reach a vantage point to see oneself and everyone around you clearly and with compassion and understanding. 

Through my time with these medicines I have developed self acceptance and in turn have forgiven family relationships undone by fear-based beliefs. I know that not only my mother, but all of my ancestors walk beside me in joy and love. 

My relationship with Pachamama, or the Earth, started with the richness of the Napa Valley, and its beauty is central to the community I have gratefully formed here.

The compass of my life as well as my healing arts practice is tuning to my inner wisdom: allowing a lightness of being or “saatva” to guide a path. We cultivate courage to make the necessary changes in our course to have a life that we truly cherish, and to attract like-minded people who share this way of being. So we begin to know heaven on earth.

With the precious time of my life, I choose to be a beacon of love and light.