A HEALERS JOURNEY
While in vitro, his mother and father wrote spiritual music and sang to him while in the womb. Some believe that that is why his birth was exceptional, as he was born “en caul”, or rather, with the amniotic sac intact. A veiled birth, born into the world in a bubble. In most cultures this is believed to be a sign of supernatural powers, such as psychic abilities, protection against dark forces and drowning, as well as having an affinity for water. Approximately 1% of babies are born this way. Perhaps this may be folklore, or perhaps it mysteriously explains Robbie's sacred affinity for water baptism, sacred music and the healing arts.
Robbies' own personal healing journey first began as a child with the healing power of music. While some believed his birth was exceptional, he was plagued by a speech impediment caused by a traumatic car accident when he was 3 years old. His stutter, kept him from sharing his heart, speaking his mind, and very literally, from finishing his sentences. It was a terrible curse. His parents, knowing how cruel other children can be, decided to home school him. They loved him dearly, and hoped to gift him the time he needed to overcome this embarrassing impediment. The people he encountered, his family included, out of either pity or impatience, would attempt to finish his sentences for him. This only sent him into deeper frustration, sorrow and sometimes even rage. He felt like a caged bird, desperate to release his song. The numerous speech therapists that he saw throughout the course of his childhood and early adolescence, were convinced that he would never overcome this impediment. That it would be a lifelong curse. Having a full house of children and a new business to run, his parents surrendered, deciding to release him to a sea of children, allowing him to finally bear the brunt of joining public school only to become known as Rah-rah-Robbie. A painfully true mimicry of his stutter. In order to survive the cat calls, brutal mimicry and unkindness, he threw himself into his studies and discovered two things: his favorite subjects were art, the English language, singing and P.E.
Robbie was forced to run the mile once a week in P.E. At first he loathed it, even more so because he had asthma, just as his mother did. As he coaxed himself to run harder and faster, he discovered the rhythm of his breath, focusing on a deep exhalation, in-in, out-out, in-in, out-out. In the beginning he would wheeze when he exhaled. He pushed harder. In-in, out-out, in-in, out-out. It became a meditation for him and his goal multiplied: to be rid of this asthma and his stutter. He began to run outside of school and as he ran, he would squeeze every last ounce of air out of his lungs hoping to ring out the asthma as well. And to his surprise, it worked! His asthma, at first ever present, went away. To this day he doesn’t need an inhaler or to suffer breathing obstructions as his caring mother had. The childhood habit of running remains in the adult who completes half-marathons.
Childhood
Born of a lineage of classical musicians, Robbie excelled in music, and singing in particular. He was admitted and joined his sister in the competitive choir in highschool as an underclassmen. This truly a rare occurrence, and was a high honor in his mind, as he would now be required to study privately with a singing teacher of his choosing. He earnestly took on this task and chose Carolyn Bisel, the best vocal teacher he could find. Her students, her sopranos in particular, were so greatly sought after, and scouted by some of the finest Universities. Ms. Bisel, or Carolyn, as he called her, helped Robbie weave his song into rays of fine golden sound, which moved hearts, and eventually led him to win first place in multiple vocal competitions in Northern California, as well as granting him scholarship to renown music schools Chapman University (2000-2002) and Chicago College of Performing Arts at Roosevelt University (2003-2004). His studies with Carolyn helped to heal his voice, freeing him of his speech impediment. Robbie believes that with strengthening his breath and body, and combining singing and running together, he experienced a form of somatic therapy, which healed him. His breath and his spirit were unshackled. His long practice of these exercises as he ran, allowed his thoughts, or sounds, to flow out of his mouth unencumbered. This freeing of the body and the speech it forms is one of the greatest gifts that one can receive.
Sacred Music
Being raised by parents who were pastors and worship leaders, Robbie was educated in Christian theology, and chose to accept the unconditional love of Jesus Christ into his heart, experiencing palpable freedom from sin and his perceived shortcomings. He experienced this through purification in water baptism. This was one of his first encounters with magic, enhanced by the conduit of water.
While his love of Christ’s love burns brightly, Robbie remains both deliciously curious about and deeply inspired by all of the earthly religious beliefs, and the many faiths carried on through time by the tender care of our ancestors. Robbie believes that all churches, temples, and places of sacred worship exist to raise the collective vibration.
Early Faith
Robbie experienced a new form of healing while he was in conservatory studying music. He was always kind and generous in sharing his snacks and helping others with their music. On this particular day, feeling sick, a sore throat and very achy, he was about to raise his hand to ask the teacher to excuse him, when a friend, and classmate, Cynthia Sabo, placed her hands on his shoulders and began to massage them. Being an intuitive healer herself, which at that time was a new idea to Robbie, Cynthia could sense that he wasn’t feeling well. Her hands felt warm and deeply soothing. After about 10 minutes of Cynthia’s touch, his energy was restored and he felt himself again. After class he pulled her aside and asked her what she did to heal him. She told him that it was a combination of prayer or energy work, and massage therapy. Robbie felt one of the deepest pulls on his spirit in his life, to understand what this powerful work was that he had experienced. Very soon after, Cynthia introduced him to her mentors in massage therapy, who quickly became his teachers, helping him complete a certification as a licensed massage therapist. This was in 2005. From that point onward, every 12-18 months Robbie studied a new modality or specialty from both eastern and western traditions, developing a collection of somatic trauma release techniques. To this day it is his honor to work with both pregnant mothers, infants, and end of life patients in hospice.
Somatic Healing & Bodywork
A lifelong lover of water, Robbie would frequent the ocean, pools, and nearby swimming holes and even played on several water polo teams. His father and uncle taught him to surf at an early age and he recalls spending full days in the ocean. He remembers nights lying in bed still
feeling the nourishing ebb and flow of the waters of the ocean. As a healer, he discovered the value in holding space to clear his own energy, through receiving massage therapy from other healers, bathing in warm water, and by physical movement among others. To this day he frequents the healing waters of natural hot springs, and it is this affinity where he first encountered a magical, fairly new healing modality called aquatic bodywork or Watsu. Created by a man named Harold Dull during the 1970’s at the famed Harbin Hot Springs, itself a Mecca for the healing arts during that time. Robbie found an advanced healer in this practice and scheduled an appointment to receive. The healer seemed rusty at first, but then found a stride and did some incredible water moves which peaked Robbie’s curiosity. He could imagine what this modality might deliver. Distraught to learn that all of the Watsu teachers were in Europe, Robbie kept digging and unearthed one in Santa Barbara California. He was elated. The phone rang, repeatedly, until finally a voice answered. It was Diane Feingold, his soon to be first mentor in this field of study. Diane was a student of Harold’s who later became his protege and assistant teacher. Diane was an advanced breathwork specialist in Pranayama as well as Hatha yoga. She felt that Howards work was beautiful, but limited her in how she wanted to express herself in aquatic bodywork. With his blessing, she created her own aquatic bodywork modality, WRT Water Release Therapy. Diane teaches her students the foundations of Watsu, and then expands, in Robbie’s opinion, the most sophisticated series of movements both above water, as well as below. Robbie’s spent much time studying with her in Santa Barbara and plans one day to assist her in teaching new students.
Upon Robbie’s graduation and certification as a WRT Water Release Therapist, he encountered new colleagues at Harbin Hot Springs who shared that a famed teacher Inika Spence-Whaley from Hawaii, and former student of Harold’s, would be returning to Harbin that summer to teach Healing Dance, another gorgeous aquatic bodywork modality. Robbie immediately contacted her only to find that her classes were completely full. Fortunately, the day before classes were to begin, one student dropped out. Robbie cleared his schedule of bodywork clients, and drove to Harbin Hot Springs the next morning to begin his next chapter of advanced studies, and to unify water, body, and sound work together as a hallmark of his healing arts.
Robbie is ever grateful to his many, many teachers - whose greatest gift may be their example of curiosity and to learn of and from any and all medicines.
WRT Water Release Therapy®
One of his most truly powerful healing experiences occurred during one of the hardest times of his life. The passing of his mother. Robbie was fortunate to never have lost someone so deeply intertwined in his heart.
Robbie was now in his mid 30’s and felt lost, frightened and unprepared for this moment in time. As a homosexual, the church of his childhood was no longer a safe, nor high vibrational place for him. Quite the opposite actually. His parents and family distanced themselves from him and he felt isolated. After years of hiding his sexuality, he opened his heart and bore his truth bravely. The contrast was so stark. Those of his best friends who were a part of the church completely disappeared, and the people who truly loved him materialized just as quickly as the others vanished. He grieved the loss of his family and former close friends. While he is close with his family, it isn’t the same. In fact, it is better. Because he is walking in his truth. His now chosen family is ever loving and present. He is grateful for the deep love and kindness that these people have shown him. Regardless of this, his mother was still dying. She was sick with cancer. Death was new to him.
He had never felt a deep connection to his ancestors. All of his biological grandparents had passed before he was born. Grandma and Grampa Lucas were the closest to grandparents he had ever had. Their families chose to adopt each other after they had met and spent some time together. During his childhood, around the age of 8 or 9, his parents decided to take on a new form of ministry by opening their home to welcome foster children to live with them. This continued throughout his highschool years, and they truly considered foster brothers and sisters family and keep in touch with a good portion of them to this day. There were 14 in total over the course of about 10 years or so. He learned to share his treasures and to not place importance on material things. They didn’t have much money for material things. But, somehow I always had new clothes for the first day of school and presents around the christmas tree. Understanding the impressive flexibility around welcoming new people into the family helps to paint the picture of how Robbie’s parents might dream up the possibility of finding grandparents to adopt as well. Wherever his parents went, they were beloved and brought music and joy. This deep love and potential loss of his mother to his family felt dire. He knew that he needed deeper healing, a deeper wisdom, and understanding around it all. He felt a deep sorrow, vast as the ocean was swallowing him whole.
Chosen Family
Robbie had first experienced the benefits of sacred earth medicine, through ceremony by the guidance of one of his new friends, a known herbalist, who worked with Huachuma or San Pedro, a native cousin of Peyote. This fascinated Robbie and sent his mind spiraling into reading and listening to every piece of literature that he could find. His experience with San Pedro was helpful, but he intuitively knew he needed deeper healing and was called to Ayahuasca.
He was ever so fortunate to have been connected to a shaman in northern California near the place where his grandparents lived. He remembers his first time driving to the Casa, or temple, passing the same orchards that his grandparents once owned. He remembered being a child and riding on the tractor with his grandfather, and the delicious smells of Grandma Lucas’s sumptuous biscuits and gravy with chilled peaches she had jarred that very same summer. The sound of the train as it roared past him, and the newly flattened penny he had peeled off of the track and now held in his hand. These memories surged through him as he drove to his first ‘sit’ with Grandmother Ayahuasca.
The drive was nostalgic and beautiful. There was a chill in the air, crisp, hazy. He felt adventure in the air, similar to his very first solo trip to Europe for his 30th birthday. While loneliness and sorrow swept over him, he felt confident on his path. Upon his arrival he was greeted by a gentleman, who he would later learn to be one of the most incredible musicians he would ever encounter. This temple was a sprawling mountain home, set in the sweet pocket of a canyon, at the top of a glacier fed stream. Everyone was so welcoming and kind. A friend of his who he had forgotten would attend was also there, and that was comforting. Throughout the course of the evening everyone shared their story, and what their intentions were to be here. There was a very thorough intake form to ensure that this medicine is right for the user, and also an education on these traditions, which have been carried down from our early human ancestors. The intake described the process of creating a spirit arrow, which is considered the physical embodiment of your intention, which you are encouraged to carry with you, as a reminder of why you came here to do this sacred healing work in deep meditation.
To create a spirit arrow, ideally one goes out into nature and asks Pachemama, mother earth, for a stick, which represents the earth, and a feather which represents the air, or spirit. Once you find these items, you then lovingly bind them together, with string, weaving them together, binding your prayer and intention to it, creating your spirit arrow. It is a powerful practice. I thought it was silly at first and didn’t understand its importance and value. When the retreat commenced, we are all welcomed to go out on to the land and stick our arrow into the earth sending that prayer or intention deep into the heart of Pachamama, sending through time and space, bringing a powerful sense of commitment to this new manifestation of healing and newness for the benefit of all beings.
In this temple everyone has the opportunity to share their heart, or not if they’d prefer, with each other. Robbie shared his heart, barely being able to contain himself from bursting into his grief. He had always had difficulty expressing his sorrow. It limited his capacity as a musician and theater artist. At this moment in the temple, it was a time of deep vulnerability for all, and the space was held with such deep, deep reverence, and compassion. Sitting with grandmother Ayahuasca and experiencing the power of the divine music shared live in the ceremony broke Robbie’s heart wide open. He sobbed deeply for hours and transcended time and space.
This would become Robbie’s home temple. He would later experience other temple containers serving this medicine that would never come close to power of these traditions and deep care and love.
Sacred Earth Medicine
After observation of the healing tools used in his community, Robbie concluded that if antidepressants help people find a floor when they are drowning in grief or anxiety, psychedelics can help you raise the ceiling of awareness and opportunity. To find a greater level of expansion of the Self and what it can feel and pursue, and a higher vantage point to look down and see oneself and everyone around them and finally understand why people acted the way they did. One of the elders shared this …
“We take this medicine to find compassion for ourselves, so we might in turn find compassion for others, as well as Pachamama…or mother earth.”
Through Robbie’s time with these medicines, and specifically Grandmother Ayahuasca, he so deeply grieved the loss of his mother. He understands and deeply believes that not only she, but all of his ancestors walk beside him in joy and love.
Sacred Earth Medicine continued…
Life Lessons
Through his continued work and prayers, Robbie has healed his relationship with his father, by finding compassion for both his parents, regardless of the cruelty, isolation and betrayal he endured through the toxic purity culture and homophobia of his family’s born-again christian church. Robbie understood that they were acting out of fear, to shape him into the man that ‘their Jesus’ believed that he needed to one day enter the kingdom of heaven in the after life.
After such a beautiful and confusing journey on this planet, these are the things that are true to Rob, spoken from his voice.
“Only you know what is right for you.
Tune into your inner heart compass and listen to your inner genius. When your heart of hearts speaks. Move. Let it flow. That is the voice of the divine speaking through you. To listen to it is the greatest gift you can give yourself and this planet.
Life. Existence. It is a great mystery. Robbie believes his work is to find his highest vibration. To stay curious within the mystery of it all. We must allow ourselves to grieve fully and completely and be in those lower vibrations when we need to. Expressing both our grief and anger. Release these emotions. Beware not to stay there. Return to love. Always return to love, joy and laughter, the highest vibrations.
What is the difference between a medicine and a poison? The dose.
There are hundreds of different types of medicines. From western pharmacological, eastern chinese, ayurvedic, physical touch, hot baths, laughter, retreats, psychotherapy, meditation, food, hiking, companionship, dancing, sex, nature, creativity, trying something new that may scare you at first- such as skydiving, singing or speaking in public, or volunteering at a local charity, your life's passions, careers, the wisdom teachings of the sages, including Jesus Christ, and many more. We need to know of these and to be reminded of them. Always lean on these lightly so they do not form an addiction, control you or become a poison. Try to sprinkle all of these throughout the course of your life - you won’t regret it.
Churches and temples must exist to raise the collective vibration. If you are participating in a congregation or particular type of fellowship and it feels heavy to you in your spirit, keep moving and searching for a place of worship that uplifts your spirit and inspires you to do the most brave and courageous acts of loving kindness beyond your greatest imagination.”
For Robbie, working with psychedelics in a sacred setting, is the fastest and deepest way to reset his inner compass to get back in touch with his heart of hearts. To reveal where he is avoiding the hurt, the fear, the resistance to love, to life, to it all. Aho!
Robbie believes that heaven isn’t something to spend your whole life waiting for. It is ours to enjoy here on earth. When you follow your inner wisdom, allowing joy and a lightness of being to guide your path, you will know heaven on earth. You will also attract like minded people who share this way of being. When heaviness burdens your soul you are denied the truest pleasures of your heart, and you will have missed the mark and only know a kind of hell on earth, and attracting similar challenged people or wind up isolated.
Contemplation
With the precious time of his life, Robbie chooses to be a beacon of love and light. Committed to finding enjoyment in each moment during his time here. It is his own personal sacred work.
If we do not enjoy life, then we don't have the courage to make the necessary choices to change the course of our path, allowing ourselves to dream up a life that we truly cherish.
Whether we are conscious of it or not, we are constantly manifesting our future. By choosing or not choosing we are creating our own realities.
Slow down. Take a beat. Or take ten. Whatever it takes to tune into your heart. Get quiet. Listen to what it tells you. Put it into action. You won’t regret it.
